Who knew i'd ever enjoy studying this much, then again who wouldn't if they were tucked in the side of the guy of their dreams. We just laid on his bed our back against his bed head with the books in our laps. I usually finished homework at lunch. My memory was fresher than and I'd also have hours home to do other things, hang out with my friends or with my dad. The idea of doing homework so late I still couldn't get used to but given the circumstances I chose not to care too much.
Jirou groaned staring down at his open notebook. "I'm still getting the wrong answer"
"That's because your formula's wrong..here" I smiled easing over to his side. I knew my breasts were touching the side of his chest and his cheeks flared pink while I pointed out the error in his problem. "There see you have the constant wrong." I corrected him using the opportunity to stretch over to the other side to grab his eraser. I was practically on him at that point but only for a few moments. "See that's the right one" I replaced his constant and smiled up at him. I was tempted to fry bacon on his face just to see just how hot it was.
"T-T-t-t-hank y--ou" he stammered his hand shaking with the book. I couldn't tell if he was nervous , scared, embarrassed or a mixture of all three. It's been a good three weeks since he's gotten out of the hospital and over that time I've been buying myself patience. Slowly reeling his trust in until he didn't even hesitate to give me a kiss on the cheek anymore when he greeted me. His smiles weren't forced but comfortable and genuine. He was the sweetie pie he was before he lost his memories all over again.
That was beautiful.
I smiled up at his flushed expression. Man I wanted this boy bad. I had been patiently waiting all these weeks till he got comfortable around me enough to make my move and I thought it might just be time. He didn't get panicked like the earlier advances so I assumed he welcomed them, or at least didn't terrify him as much as they used to.
I made sure to wear a V neck top and jeans to show off a little cleavage but not too much. Not even once did he peek at them. If anything he seemed like he was avoiding having to look at them. I groaned a tad mentally since sometimes clearly he was a little too sweet. Everyone else in his family was barricaded in their rooms while their mother was off doing errands.
What more perfect timing could I ask for?
I found myself staring at him for a while until he noticed. He blinked at me a few times after realizing he was chewing on his pencil. "Is everything okay?" I eased myself into him with a smile on my face.
"I don't know...it can work itself out.."
"Do you have more homework?" he asked. "I can help....well...I can try" he said quickly looking off to the side. I smiled turning his face back to mines.
"It's not homework but it is something you could help me with" with that I pressed my lips against his. His face flushed red for a few moments before he kissed back. It took him a while for him to get the jest of things. Earlier up he showed hesitation in kissing me but that had already melted away, now he held my back to press me closer to him just as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His touch was as gentle as his kisses until I nipped at his bottom lip.
I deepened the kiss, as he opened his mouth shyly letting me in. He blushed when my tongue licked his and explored his mouth. He got into the rhythm of it and did the same a few moments. My body felt like it was on fire. I'd been with my fair share of guys and not once has kissing got me this excited. The aching feeling only got worse when kissing him as time passed that just before we pulled away I had managed to maneuver myself on to of him. He pulled away in shock and embarrassment.
"W-h-hat are you doing?"
I gave him a sad look before looking away "S-sorry about that" I said with a pout. He looked at me with concern. "It's just....I miss..you know.."
"You know what?" he blinked. Was he really this clueless on this stuff? God that Made me want him even more. His eyes were completely and honestly clueless as to what I was suggesting.
"I miss making love to you is all" His face got to an all time level of red I was scared he might die of a heat stroke on the bed. That'd definitely be a mood killer.
"Of course....you're my one and only Jirou" I smiled kissing his cheek. "To be honest you barely kept your hands off of me.." His face only got worse. Man I had to thread this carefully or he could pass out on me. "And after all this time..I just miss being that close to you is all...." My fingers slid from his cheek to his chest.
"I-i d-don't know.." I saw him look off to the side nervously. Confused I looked off in the same direction and simply saw his mirror. My eyebrows knit together glancing at him. Was he seeing something? I eyed the mirror carefully before shifting myself into his range of vision.
I tried pulling off the saddest look I could manage. I saw him panic on seeing it. "I-i know it's not your fault..but..it hurts seeing you don't remember all of that......makes me feel like you don't love me as much anymore"
"I do love you! I do really!" He said with the saddest look as he gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I-i know i screw up alot because of my memory b-but..i'm trying..to..r-relearn everything..it takes time."
"Well" I smiled. "This is something we can relearn together" He still looked a little hesitant and I cupped his cheek before giving me a weak nod.
"A-lright.." He smiled at me. I Settled myself on him more comfortably before cupping his cheeks. My fingers grazed his flaring cheeks. "W-h-hat am I supposed to do.." he asked embarrassed.
"Since you're still recovering...somewhat.. just..relax alright? but till then..just kiss me like you always do"
He surprised me by actually kissing me first. His soft lips met mines and I returned the favor. I tried not to get carried away with him and paced myself with him or else I'd scare him with the kiss alone. I sped up it's paced and it turned from sweet to passionate pretty quickly, slowly pressing my chest against his forcing him on his back. His hands seem to look out of place so I moved them to my side and slowly he followed cue and started rubbing my side.
His hands were rough, no doubt from kendo. The sport typically had that effect on others but despite that his touch left me shivering. I couldn't really hold myself back anymore and slipped his shirt over his head. He blushed looking at me as I planted kisses on his chest. He seems to groan at the contact. I carefully watched his reaction while my kisses made it's way down his stomach to his zipper. I hoped his heavy breathing was a good thing. Please don't pass out on me.
Unzipping his pants and pulling it off of him. My hand gripped his length though the space in his boxers he did a little yelp but I pretended not to hear it since I heard a groan right after . I moved my thumb over the soft pink sensitive flesh of his head and kept my eyes on him. At first he didn’t do much besides his groaning, his hands gripped the sheets and his body twitched he even moaning a few times but being embarrassed whenever he did.
I eased down closer and licked his now throbbing organ and that’s when he really got red. I swirled my tongue around the tip before taking it into my mouth stopping after a few moments letting my hand stroke him as I smiled.
“Babe it’s okay you don’t need to be embarrassed, just let me show you how good I made you feel okay?”
He gave me a little nod before I continued pleasuring him, making sure his moans were steady as his breathing god labored. I knew I needed to stop but I felt myself getting wetter hearing those noises of his. I forced myself off of him and began slipping my own clothes off slowly in front of him. Giving him a little tease. His eyes were glued to me even thought he flushed and looked away a few times I only moved where I was.
"It's okay Jirou...you can look..and stare all you want" I said bringing his face to my chest as I sat at the bed. "My body is yours..so look all you want" I pulled myself away and gave him a smile after his nod. Finally taking his boxers off and I reached into my bag for a condom.
I managed to find out the right size by asking a girl who I knew had slept with Taro before. They did have the same body after all. She was reluctant but after it was official Jirou and I were together she didn't have much reasons to keep saying no.
"H-how did you?"
"We did this before remember...of course I'd know" I smiled at him before planting a kiss on him. I held him put it on him before climbing back on him and lining him up to my entrance. No matter how many times I've dreamt of his moment it didn't compare to how it felt when he entered me. Feeling him fill me completely set shivers up my spine. My toes curled as I moaned. Not bothering to lower it despite knowing Taro's room was right nearby. Jirou moaned softly his cheeks flaring.
I moved his hands to my waist when I started moving. Feeling him move as I rid him just blinded me with pleasure. Imagining it did wonders but the action was a whole new level. I knew I had to pace myself, going too fast wasn’t an option for him. I needed him to enjoy this too. I gripped his shoulders and pulled him upright cupping his cheeks.
I felt him pull me in closer when our lips met. The heat building with each movement in my body was incredible and soon enough he felt comfortable enough to let his hands roam up my back rubbing it gently.
Our breathing got heavier the faster my pace got.
“Funny good?” I smiled as he nodded. “You’re pr-obably going to come soon Jirou” I smiled kissing his neck. “That’s a-alright so am I. You feel amazing….I missed it.” It didn't take long before we finished after that. My body was quivering as the orgasmic feelings rushed over me and we found ourselves panting catching our breath. Sweat covered our tired bodies before I reluctantly got off of him. I knew Taro probably hated me even more for how loud I was getting but I didn't care. Not like he could do anything about it at that point. I smiled looking up at Jirou who gave me a genuine one in return.
“How was that?” I asked as he pressed his lips against mines and pulled me closer.
“Amazing.” He blushed. Nuzzled into his side I kissed his cheek. He kept glancing over to the mirror which concerned me but it didn’t take him long to fall asleep. I could practically feel Taro steaming in the room next door but that didn’t make me lose sleep in the slightest.
Our little adventures were getting more frequent as time passed and it wasn’t just in his bedroom either. At school, the nurse’s beds were quite comfortable and a few times in my room but my favorite of all was when we had just finished by the spot at the lake.
Jirou had already fallen asleep but I saw when Kasume had arrived and instantly froze on seeing us. I gave him a little wave before snuggling into Jirou who on cue pulled me closer to him before snoring.
If there was one person on earth I lived to see shed a few tears it was her. She didn’t come back to the lake after that unfortunately. Would have liked to see her catch us in the act rather than after but you take what fate gives you sometimes. It didn't make the experiences all the more fun or enjoyable that's for sure. Not by a long shot.
"She answering your calls?"
"Not really" I answered with a sigh walking through the halls. Akina sighed running her hand through her hand then continued stuffing her face with chips. "She's not at home either."
"Well that party was a collosal face" Saya groaned yawning tiredly. Needless to say the party came to an ubrupt end. Natsuko showed up an hour after we ended during the cleaning phase. He said he took Aika at his place to calm down, so after the entire thing was over and everything put back the way they were. She wasn't at home when they checked her place that night or the following morning.
"Amaya and Daichi are heading over to Natsuko's place so they're not going to be in school" Akina said. The party had been going so well.
"I hope she's okay.." I muttered. My phone vibrated but it was only texts from the swimming club captain asking me to make more chocolate fudge. They were willing to pay but I told him I wouldn't mind doing it as a gift. It would get me closer to where Jirou was too. I smiled hoping that last night left an impression on him.
We talked and laughed. Kairi looked incredibly uncomfortable before she joined the pool with him. Distracting him with kisses that turned my stomach. He kissed her back just as eagerly sometimes flushed when he realized I was still around and apologized. I saw the look in Kairi's eye clearly. 'You had your chance'
She was right about that at least. I did have my chance and I blew it now all I hoped to gain was my friend back. One brick at a time. Let him trust me again before pushing anything more. I remembered just last year before the end of the school year. I was practically running through the halls of school that morning. Shaking the crap out of Ria or Mai asking if they knew where Jirou was. They looked a bit terrified but Ria had said Jirou did the same thing.
We met in the hallway and hugged each other tight. "Oh my god"
"I cried" I admitted. "I cried so hard..What do we do now?" Our favorite TV Show from since middle school had finally aired it's last episode but the wifi was down and I couldn't skype Jirou and my phone battery had been charging. I fell asleep with tears and tissues all over me.
"Me too to be honest"
"I feel a bit old too" I sniffled. "I mean how long have we been watching it? since we were 11? 12?"
"I started it when I was 9 but yeah! I can't believe it's over." His lip quivered. We walked side by side heading to the lockers that we neglected during our sprint. "Makes me worried a bit ...stuff changes so much" He said side looking at me. "Makes you wonder if all of them are going to be good you know"
"Well the franchise is pretty popular you never know they might do a spin off"
"I'm not just talking about the show but yeah that'd be pretty sweet" He laughed. "I mean...well..I'm going to be a senior next year then it's college...it's just"
"Just?" I asked him innocently.
"Just a bit worried..is all...we're all so close and everyone wants to do different things..different directions..makes me wonder if everything'll change that way too" He gave me a sad look. "Amaya told me...that you were thinking of going to University in Paris to meet your Aunt."
"Nothing's set in stone" I told him. "I'm not even sure what I want to be yet to be honest" He looked at me. "But I assure you..whether I leave or stay" I grinned. "All of us are always going to remain friends" He gave a weak smile.
"Yeah..friends" His smile turned into a grin. "I'd like that"
"Come on let's go get some icecream"
"Skipping class?" He laughed.
"It's a celebration!"
Saya and Akina headed off to their class but I felt a bit stuffy so I headed to my locker for my inhaler. I had been so busy with worry I left it with my homework for next period. I coughed into my hand. The panting got worse and soon enough before I got to the right hallway. I was swaying from the tight pain in my chest. I tried to force air down but only ended up in fits of coughing.
"Hey are you okay?" Someone asked me but I couldn't get a breath to answer them. My knees buckled under me from exhaustion and started wheezing. "HEY HEY Someone get the nurse she's having an asthma attack!" Someone knelt besides me but everything got hard to do. Concentrate. Speak. Breathe.
My head was splitting with pain that spread up from my chest. "Does anyone have an inhaler? The crowd started building. "Give her some space!" I recongized the voice as the guy on Jirou's swim team. The Captain I believe. He held out a brown paper bag for me to breathe into. "Will one of you brain dead morons get the nurse??"
I heard a few footsteps but I couldn't help but cry. The pain was terrible. I felt continuously light headed until another body knelt besides me.
"Where's your inhaler?" He asked me.
"L-l-lo-o" I couldn't get the word out and only wheezed. He cursed under his breath and kept trying to coach my breathing.
"I-i .I have one.." I couldn't focus on Jirou's voice but I saw the inhaler in his hand. The spare inhaler he would always carry around in his bag for me. He moved closer and brought it to my mouth pressing down as I inhaled the medicine. Tears were blocking the clear image of his face but I knew it was confusion. "Why..do I have an inhaler?" He said.
"Don't care why but thank god you did since those morons can't seem to find the nurse" The captain said. "Another it's supposed to be two" He gave a hesitant nod and squeezed the pump again. I leaned against him sobbing harder than I wanted but I felt so grateful. Even without his memory he still remembered to pull out the inhaler.
'Guess he still is my mama bird' I thought happily. His brows knit in confusion.
"D-did you..say something?" I shook my head leaning on him tiredly. He held me close to him automatically like he would have usually done during one of his 'healing snuggles'. The bear hugs that made me feel safer than anything else. He even rubbed my shoulder when I wheezed a little. Looking worried whenever I coughed. I rested my head in the crook of his neck. It helped he was so much taller than I was. When the nurse finally arrived I was practically half asleep. The Captain stood and told her everything that happened. She pointed at Jirou with a boney finger.
"Pick her up and take her to the Nurse's office" She said. "Come on. I'll call her Guardian in the meanwhile" He hesitantly nodded and picked me up. I smiled seeing the tattoo peeking at the collar of his shirt. I couldn't help but run my finger on it. The three birds in flight.
"Do you know what it means?" I croaked out forcing the words out thankfully he heard me on our way there.
"This" I tapped the tattoo. "..Do you..did you find out what it means?" My voice was wheezy and low.
"Um..Kairi..says it's because I liked birds.." I shook my head. "...If not..what is it?"
I managed a smile sleep took hold of me. I drew him drawings of that day. The day we let our baby fly out into the wild.
A couple days later
After a quick text to Shisui telling him I was at Jirou's house safely, I took a deep breath as I pressed the call button on the iron gate that guarded Jirou's house. I had opted to walk there despite him offering to drive, so I just wanted to let him know I was safe. As I waited for a response I looked over the mansion, still a bit awed by the structure. I never in a million years would have imagined Jirou and his siblings would live in such a place, or have such a influential father. I mean I had assumed he had a bigger house for his big family, but still a mansion? Consider me blind sighted the moment the limo pulled up to the beautiful building. But even knowing Jirou's family secret, my feelings for him hadn't changed. I still wanted to be part of his life, even if it meant only being friends. If this Kairi thing was true love, and permanent... As long as Jirou was happy, I'd be okay with it. I just wanted us to be close friends just like we were before. Even though when I saw them... together, at me and Jirou's spot... I'll admit it really hurt. Seeing Kairi be where I've wanted to be for the longest time... A part of me wondered... if I had just kissed him during the last time we were at the lake together, would this all have been avoided? Jirou was still scared of Kairi then, they couldn't have been together then.
Just something nagged at the back of my mind. I knew Jirou, I knew he was a sweet guy that took his time. Going from being scared of Kairi... to liking her, to dating her, then giving his virginity to her in a little over a month? It... just didn't seem right.
My thoughts were broken as I turned to see Ria run over to me, a big grin on his face as he stopped in front of me. "You visiting Jirou too?"
With a nod I showed him my bag, filled with photos, his favorite movies, and crafts he had made in woodshop and gave to me. I nearly choked up looking at the wooden raven he had given me during one of his first woodshop classes. He was so proud of it when he gave it to me, at the same time he also gave me one of her feathers that she left behind and made it into a necklace for me. Told me I could always have a piece of Rin, and honestly I could have kissed him right there. But I was terrified of scaring him off.
"Hello?" came the voice of Jirou's mother.
I gave a smile and turned to the little monitor next to the call button, "H-Hi Mrs. Uchiha we're here to see Jirou, is he up for visitors today?"
"Hi Mrs. Jirou's pretty mom person!"
The white haired woman gave a smile seeing us, "Ria, and... Kasume yes? Of course, poor baby is a bit lonely. I'll buzz you in."
There was a clicking sound and the gates slide back to allow us onto the driveway. Jirou's mom gave us another grin before the screen went blank. I looked up as I walked to the front door. I just could not get over the beauty of this house, I needed to draw it sometime. His mom opened the door for us and welcomed us inside.
"Also none of this Mrs. Uchiha stuff, call me Eri," she mentioned closing the door behind her. "Taro and the girls are out doing some errands, Izuna is in his room, and the little ones are running around."
"So what about um... Kairi?" Ria asked as she led us to Jirou's room.
"She's busy from what I understand."
I blinked at the change of tone, suddenly Eri's voice went from light and cheery to short and restrained, like she was biting back dislike for Kairi. I didn't really know what to think of it. Maybe she's just the kind of mom that doesn't like her kids dating? Maybe she'd do that about me if I was the one dating her son? I shook it off, there's nothing wrong with a protective mother. She walked up the stairs and knocked on Jirou's door. "Jirou? You have friends over," she said opening the door.
Jirou glanced up at us as we walked into the room, and I could tell he just finished a book. He'd close it, set it on his stomach, and think over what he just read, kinda digesting it in a way, putting his arms behind his head. I smiled as he glanced at me and Ria. Since my asthma attack, I no longer saw fear and uncertainty in his eyes. Okay maybe still a bit of uncertainty, but curiosity replaced the fear he had of me. It was a good sign, if only Kairi didn't actively try to get between us, whenever I saw him he looked like he wanted to talk to me, but Kairi would drag him away. He had questions for me, I knew it.
"H-Hey... I um... just didn't get a chance to thank you for saving me..." I blushed a bit, seeing some color rise in his cheeks. I took a deep breath and dug into my bag pulling out some brownies I had made with Shisui, they were always Jirou's favorite because I put instant espresso in them to make them nice and moist, "You um... loved these before you lost your memory."
"I-I... um, anyone would have done it if they were in my shoes, you don't have to thank me," Jirou blushed and then like a little kid he perked up seeing the brownies. "But you know I um, could share the brownies, if you guys want to." Jirou was always one to be motivated by food, I couldn't help but giggle. It's moments like this where if I wasn't already in love with him, I could fall in love with him all over again. Jirou was always himself, he wasn't scared of covering up how he felt to look cool or macho, he was always just Jirou, and I adored that natural honesty in him.
"I don't trust anyone with my spare inhaler, I'm just so thankful you remembered."
"It was kinda on instinct more then anything else."
Instinct indeed, when he cuddled me and fussed over me after my attack, it was like I had Jirou back. Until Kairi found him in the nurse's office with me and dragged him off, glaring daggers at me. While I was crestfallen she had taken Jirou away, I had that small victory that even if he didn't know me, he still cared. He knew about my inhaler... There might be a chance for me after all. I'm not one to break up couples, but even I was a bit unhappy about how Kairi was all over Jirou and trying to control his every move. Jirou seemed so conflicted and confused... I'd never do that to him, I'd let him be the wonderful person he was. I just had to find out if I could stir up his memories, maybe, just maybe... there was a shot.
I could feel the pride radiating off Eri as she came over and kissed Jirou's cheek, "Alright my little hero, don't fill up on brownies though, I'm making pork for dinner," she glanced at us, "I always have left overs if you two wish to join though."
Normally I would have said yes, but I sighed softly, "Sorry dinnertime is breakfast in America, I skype with my little brother at that time, but thank you so much for the offer," I bowed at her.
"I love pork!" Ria grinned.
Eri only smiled, "well alright another time then Kasume. Maybe lunch or something."
"Lunch I can do," I replied.
She nodded then left Ria and I alone with Jirou telling him that he can call her at any time. He still seemed to get nervous when his mom wasn't around. I didn't like seeing him like this, but at the same time it was sweet, almost assuring that he was still the lovable boy I knew. One who knew his mother was always someone to trust, he always told me about his mom, about her cooking and how encouraging she was to him, how he knew he could trust her with anything. I withheld a sigh, if only we were introduced to his family sooner, then his mom would know the entire situation and be on our side.
"So..." I smiled at him and slowly walked over taking a seat next to him, "What you reading?"
"Bone Doll's Twin... it's darker then what I usually read, kinda adult, but I found it on my bookshelf and it looked well worn, I assumed well read, so I was curious... Maybe I borrowed it from someone," he said scratching his head.
"What is it about?"
"It's a medieval world where female warrior queens use to rule, then a king came and didn't want anymore queens so he got rid of all the female heirs so he can stay king, so to protect the last female heir they made her look like her twin brother and made her brother look like her. Then the book does different perspectives. The wizard's story, the girl's story, it's... like I said, it's kinda adult, not detailed..." he blushed a bit so I knew what he meant by 'adult', "but... you know whats happening... and I have to say I do like it. Apparently it's a trilogy, I have the other two books, so... guess it's mine right?"
I gently sat next to him, "Well, you don't usually buy the other books in the series unless you like it, and when you don't like a book you'd give it to one of them, to see if we liked it. Sometimes you just thought it was more our taste so if you have them and they are well read they are definitely yours."
"Maybe I liked the warrior queens, they seem really cool."
"You always did like strong female leads, thats why you liked the Hunger Games," Ria pipped up stuffing his face with some brownies.
Suddenly Jirou's face paled, "WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THAT SERIES!"
Ria and I started cracking up, yes, that was all I needed, Jirou was still his dorky self taking books way too personally, but then again so do I. I hugged him, he jumped a bit, but then looked at me and relaxed a bit.
"So how's your head?" Ria asked.
Jirou blinked, "I still get headaches, but my memory is getting better."
"That's good! Maybe we can watch some movies, we can show you your favorites!"
"Movies sound cool, so umm... what did I like?"
That was my time to shine as I pulled out my bag and showed him the DVDs he let me borrow to try and convert me to Marvel, silly fool. I can totally take advantage of this in one way at least, try to make him a DC Universe fan if Ria didn't meddle with it. Jirou looked at the bag with the curiosity of a 5 year old. He spied the wooden raven and seemed a bit confused taking it out and looking it over carefully.
"Whats this?" he asked
"You made that for me in freshman year. Your first woodshop."
He blinked then pulled down his shirt a bit, "My... tattoo?"
I smiled, "yes, you got it because of our bird, you found her injured and we nursed her back to health together. We called her Rin... we were kinda her parents... and you really took her to heart."
"That... makes more sense then me liking birds..." he pouted a bit, the twitch of his eye betraying that the conflicting information was hurting him.
I put my hand on his, "Lets just watch the movie okay?"
He nodded a bit and Ria elbowed in front of me, "None of that DC stuff, my bestie is a Marvel man, so we are watching Iron Man!"
I acted offended, "how dare you, I'm just opening his mind a bit."
"MARVEL RULES DC WISHES IT WAS HALF THE UNIVERSE MARVEL IS!"
"Um..." poor Jirou looked so confused. I only laughed and let Ria put on Iron Man.
"Yes we do this all the time, you and I did it too, play fighting, thats all it is," I assured him.
He only gave me the same old grin and nodded, "okay I get it now!"
We settled down and began watching the movies, I mean Iron Man wasn't bad, Tony Stark was defiantly a huge reminder of Taro though. In the middle of the third movie Jirou started getting texts from someone. He looked unsure, and gave glances at us when he thought we weren't looking. The texts seemed to confuse him, I could only guess at who it was. So I just put my hand on his, "Everything okay?"
He forced a smile, I could tell when they weren't real. "Yeah... just, um, headache..." he fibbed.
"Okay, I'm not making you uncomfortable am I?"
"N-No," he blushed.
I smiled and hugged him, "well if you ever want to talk Jirou I'm right here. That's what best friends are for. I've missed my cuddle buddy."
His face went red and he hesitantly hugged me back, "Th-Thanks... um... cuddle buddy?"
"You gave her healing snuggles whenever she was injured bro, it's kinda just who you were," Ria would chuckle.
"Oh..." his face went redder, making me giggle, "Wish I remembered all this."
"You will with time, and if you need help let us know okay?"
He finally smiled and nodded, "thanks!"
I smiled and settled back down next to him, as dinner time came around I had to say my good-byes promising to visit again soon. Jirou seemed happy with the offer and Ria told me he'd keep an eye on him and try to keep jogging his memory. I could only hope Ria had success as I went to Shisui's to Skype my brother. If the visit showed me anything, it showed me that Jirou could get back to his old self, I just needed to be by his side and help him along. Once Jirou was back... maybe... if he and Kairi don't work out... I'll finally tell him how I feel for him.
Honestly there were things I had grown to accept about the wierdness of my situation. The ever growing headaches at every intervol of my life. Every nerved flared and my stomach rolled from being nauseous and dizzy and it hadn't even been half way through the movies. I still enjoyed them regardless and the company. Ria was pretty hilarious.
That girl, Kasume though. I couldn't put my finger on it. My head and heart were in a constant tango that weren't made any better by the holes in my memory. Kairi kept texting me throughout the movies. I knew I had made her upset with my constant questioning but I couldn't help it.
'Jirou I told you shouldn't trust her' One text had said and I kept glancing at her while she laughed with Ria. Everything from the way her face lit up when she did to the subtle teasing she did to Ria whenever she didn't want to admit a scene was good, or compared it to something called justice league..or.something. Heat would race up my neck at every sound. Whenever she hugged ME or touched my hand to check if I was alright I ended up being a stuttering mess. Whatever nerves connected my brain to my mouth would have a sudden black out.
My body just refused to function right around her and It was so confusing.
'We're just watching a movie. It's not that bad..' I texted back pain sheering my skull.
'Babe I told you...she's not good for you. She and her buddies are manipulative, hateful and I don't want you to get hurt'
"Hey Jirou do you want the last brownie?" She held up the container of the addictive treats. Instantly perking up, my head must have welcomed the promise of sugar since my headache eased instantly. It was hard to believe a smile like that could be fake. It didn't feel fake. I reached for it and there went my motor skills.
"Um..We could split it" I broke it into half and she smiled receiving it.
"Hey what about me!"
"You ate like eight of them" She laughed. "I have more at home. I'll bring some more at school okay?" He pouted and she nudged his shoulders coaxing a snicker from him. "Come onnn, don't be mad. I'll make so many you'll be drowning in them!"
That oddly didn't sound so bad.
"Can you think of a better way to go?" She raised a brow. "I'm pretty sure I can't"
"Can't argue with that" He laughed. "Suggestion..adding chocolate chips would be awesome!"
"P-eanut butter" I stuttered gaining their attention. It still felt awkward feeling their stares on me. "Everything tastes better with peanut butter" She giggled again. She had such a nice laugh.
"Sure I'll make a batch for you too!"
"Should you even be touching that stuff?"
"I'm fine so long as I don't eat it dummy" She poked his ribs and he flinched. "Kai loves peanut butter and banana sandwiches"
"Don't you?" I asked my voice still breaking. God what was going on with me. "Love peanut butter I mean"
"She's allergic buddy" Ria chimed in. "Super allergic, like her throat gets to the size of a balloon! and her skin gets red and its super scifi like"
"Thanks Ria, he so needs that image of me" She snickered. "He already has no memory of me..I didn't want one to be that'
"Well sorry it's true"
"O-oh." I said staring feeling the blood leave my face. "You don't have to do any peanut butter ones then. I don't want you hurt..or something" She told me she didn't mind at all, that she would normally make brownies and treats for me whenever we visited the lake.
Lake? That amazing place Kairi had taken me and said we hung out there from time to time. It was ride open forest like area, nothing but wildlife and trees in almost every direction. The lake was clear crystal blue reflected the skies. The grass was soft, the shade comfortable, the water was absolutely freezing but it still made for good practice. Why would she know about the lake? Then again. She knew about my Tattoo. I had no doubts in my mind that she was the girl in my dreams. The same laugh, that my heart skipped just hearing. She knew the story of the caged bird that plagued my nightmares and dreams. That meant we were friends. We had to be if the dream was actually a distorted memory but then why would Kairi lie about that?
It bothered me all evening and I hoped it hadn't showed but my head was pounding. Dinner cooled it but it was still confused mess even with the promise of Mom's great pork . Ria stayed for an hour longer.
"H-hey..um.. Ria" I started to ask. He turned to me after he patted his stomach. "How long..have..all of us been friends?"
"Since middle school!" He grinned. "Yeah! you coached another friend of ours named Aika in swimming" I stared. Me? coach someone? I could barely keep up with the times in swimming club now. I couldn't meet even my worse recorded time laps. It was a bit ironic that I could be needing some of that training right about now. "And Asshole over there coached Kasume in archery..and you both got invited to the same party because Aika and Kasume were friends since preschool. You guys joined our group the latest but we're still just as close"
"W-hat's my favorite color?" I blurted. I didn't know where that question came from and frankly wouldn't be able to tell if he was right or wrong but if he knew me he had to know that right?
"Duh Blue" He stared then snickered. "You have a thing for blue eyes or something"
"Kairi's eyes..aren't blue though" I said.
"Well you don't have a thing for Kairi either but her eyes they're fired by the pits of hell so they're purple" He shot up. "Enough about her! let's just have some fun till I have to head home in an hour!"
"O-okay" I smiled. "What do you want to do?"
"Video games! Let me kick your butt at Mario Kart 8!" He met my confusion. "Of course..you have no idea what's Mario kart! even better I'll go ask your sister for the console" He skipped out and headed down the halls. I realized my phone had been silent. Meant she was definitely mad. I could feel her radiating anger from here. I sent her puppy emotes and she sent me back a few. I didn't want to make her sad. What kind of boyfriend am I? I sat there shimmering in guilt before Ria showed up with the games and we played for a few hours. I added Mario Kart to the list of things I apparently used to be good at but now sucked at when playing. Ria seemed happy though and it was fun hanging around him even if I did kept driving off the tracks. It helped me forget about my growing conflicts and certainly helped with my headaches.
How could I try to figure out the answers when every question drove my head through the wall?
My head was spinning and sitting in my bed upright against the wall wasn't helping. I was certainly sure I was about to have a panic attack. My hands were shaking my breathing rapid and my palms and every other part of me was sweating. The night had spun out of control and I couldn't figure out how to get back on track. Earlier that night Harumi and I had been eating My Dad's spicy barbecue wings with Chinese fried rice. My head was splitting then too but Harumi figured a rerun of friends might cure my crappy night.
I felt sick with everything I ate and saw. No matter how funny the scenes or how amazing Dad's wings usually were. He even joined us during the mid way of season one.
"You know Ross and Rachel are going to end up together" He pointed out when Harumi blushed for Joey and Racheal. She only huffed at my Dad and stuffed a pillow into his face.
"Don't interrupt my dreams" He only shook his head and left after the last episode we decided to watch. Harumi closed the door and turned to me.
"Feeling any better?"
'You slept with Jirou! shouldn't you be excited! I mean from what you told me he sounded like an absolute cutie about it"
"What was it disappointing?" She walked over to me sitting by the bed side. She put her hand on my forehead.
"No not at all" I groaned laying back. "Just..how much of it was him..you know?" I had been imagining dates with Jirou since middle school. Every aspect of it had been imagining what he would be like during movie dates, around pets, and what icecream flavor he would choose and then in highschool how would he be like in bed. Yet I wasn't happy. No matter how many times we did it. How satisified I felt after everytime I got home it was like whatever high I felt disappeared immediately. Like a mask suddenly falling off each time I stepped through the door.
"You have a point but..I mean. Did he enjoy it?"
"I'm not sure if I can trust what comes out of his mouth but he looked happy" I shrugged a shoulder. "I think I just need some sleep or something. I'm worrying over nothing" What about Kasume? My mind chided. I blinked a bit. What about Kasume? She could be plotting ways to gain Jirou's trust. Get ahead on that. Spy on her. Harumi blinked at me and nodded.
"Well if it's sleep you need" She replied snapping me from my mental debate. "I'll go get the futon"
"On second thought" I said going over to the mirror bowl. I hadn't used it such a long while. It had gotten a bit dusty and I was few on a couple ingredients but I had enough for a half an hour viewing. "The party Kasume caught me off guard a bit about Jirou's swimming. If she's planning on different ways to earn his trust back. I need to get a head start" Harumi didn't object openingly but I saw the way her eyebrows knitted together but she nodded and pulled up a chair after I was finished assembling everything. The fog wasn't as thick as I remembered when it spilled onto the floor but the image showed.
Kasume was walking home from god knew where. A bag slung over her shoulder and she was on the phone.
"Okay eat a ton of cookies for the two of us buddie" She smiled. "Come on you have to head out now don't keep mommy waiting. I love you too Kai. Have fun!" Her smile hung on for a few moments. I couldn't tell where she was exactly but it definitely hadn't been at her Godfather's place or her's. The moon had been illuminating the pathway.
"She doesn't look to be planning a thing"
"Well might as well play this whole thing out" I reasoned. No harm and the spell would wear off and we had no more ingredients
Then blank. I felt a tapping on my shoulder and groggily lifted my head to see Jirou staring at me, worry plastered on his features. Confusion struck me as I looked around at the noisy cafeteria. The onslaught of shitty pizza, garlic and sweaty teenagers threatened to give me a worse headache that I already had. I jolted upright. What the fuck? "What the hell?"
"Kairi?" He asked "What's wrong?"
"What the fuck" I spun around. It was broad day light. "What..what?"
"Kairi? what's going on hey hey take a deep breath" He suited rubbing my shoulder. How in the fucking hell is it morning? How did I get to school? My head started spinning.
"Y-you were just talking about your fight with Harumi yesterday night and then you just...flopped your head on the desk and passed out. I was just about to call the nurse!"
"Fight? Harumi?" My head was spinning and I fished out my phone out of my bag and almost passed out all over again seeing the date. It was Tuesday. Just a second ago it had been Sunday night. What the hell happened between then? I skipped over Monday? I pushed myself to my feet. Blackouts and Memory loss? were in the range of scientific possibility? maybe if I was covered in liverspots and sported dentures. "Oh right, hey babe, I ugh just remembered I have a meeting." I shot myself to my feet kissing his cheek quickly and rushing out the door to where I knew Harumi would be if she wasn't in the cafteria. On my way out I saw the stooges giving me wierder looks than usual. I didn't let it bother me too much and simply zipped through the hallways to Dancing club.
Harumi had been in the middle of a twirl when I burst through the door. She slipped and landed on her butt from fright. I tried to help her up but she pushed herself up to her feet. Her eyes were filled with what I knew was hurt. "..What?" She dusted herself off.
"Harumi what happened?"
"I fell. You just saw that"
"No I mean. Today, yesterday, Sunday night!! I can't remember anything what the hell happened?" I was shaking like mad at that point. She searched my eyes and paled when she realized how very serious I was.
'You don't remember?" I shook my head. "N-none of it?...what's the last thing you DO remember" Her other dance club members were looking at me funny so we decided to head off to the Girl's bathroom. I needed the water to calm down. My heart was rammed in my chest and pound in my ears.
"Kasume had just hung up on the phone with someone.. That's it!"
"That's all?" Harumi asked. "Are you sure?"
"Why would I lie about something like this?? What happened answer me because I am flipping the fuck out in case you haven't noticed. I'm missing two entire days!" The mirror made a creaking sound and I glanced towards it for a second I thought I saw my reflection smile at me. In a wipe of an eye. It was gone. I was staring at myself with the same panicked expression that it mirrored. Harumi held me closer when I thought I was hyperventilating. I couldn't make a steady breathe anymore. It took a while before I calmed down and to avoid any stares we moved into a stall and stayed quiet until it was empty again. It meant skipping class but I didn't care.
"Well..to start. That night in the mirror bowl. Kasume was heading to a friend's place for a few things for her Mother but when she got there her stepfather had already collected them and well. He got mad at her over some papers that she was supposed to sign and when she tried to leave he slapped her and told her to stay put. It was pretty bad. Her lip got split and everything...and..considering all the injuries she's had since Middle school. You instantly came to the conclusion she's being abused...I said we should tell someone...but you" My stomach dropped. "You wanted to exploit it"
"Exploit it?" I stared. "What, No I wouldn't..I'm a bitch but I'm not soulless"
"That's what I said" She snapped. "And you yelled at me saying that I wasn't on your side but I was! You weren't acting like yourself at all I told you to drop it and you promised you would"
"W-well that's good then" I muttered.
"N-no. Not good. Monday evening. I heard crying in the bathroom and I went in and I heard crying from the stalls. I didn't know what to do so I just knocked on the stall door and asked if they were okay. When they didn't answer I just waited around the corner to see who would come out and Kasume did. Her lip was still swollen but her eyes were too..from crying. I asked you about it and you told me you told her that You'd tell everyone about her stepfather if she didn't go join her family"
"There's..no way..Okay. This has got to be a dream. Not only would I NOT do that. Yes I dislike the chick butt getting her to leave fucking school is insane even for me!! My Mom was abused as a child. That's not something to joke around with" I ran my fingers through my hair. "Fuck fuck fuck"
"Kairi this book is driving you crazy LITERALLY crazy. You need to stop using it!"
"I CAN'T OKAY" I snapped at her. "Whenever I do. I feel literally sick. My stomach turns, my head hurts so fucking much I swear there's an extradition going on in my skull! It hurts when I use it but it hurts worse when I stop. At least after I use it I get to sleep." I muttered. "I can't..stop"
"Kairi you're scaring me"
"I just need to figure out how to get rid of the book"
"Ask them they're the experts in magic!"
"Be real. Those assholes wouldn't help me." I told her. "I hurt Jirou, almost got him killed, slept with him under the influence....and just forced Kasume to leave the country. No I have to figure this out on my own." I said. "I have an idea too...I'll go over to Jirou's place..search the house in anyway I can and see if I can find any books about magic. If I can I'll find some way to read them. I'm smart." Harumi hugged me tight. It wasn't until she had I realized I was shaking. "I can fix this." I told her. "I can fix this"
Waking up in my bed what seemed like a few seconds later told me everything I needed to know about that resolve. This was going to be hell. My phone vibrated like a mad man on the bed next to my table. I couldn't even remember the last time I had this many texts.
[KAIRI THE ENVIRONMENTAL CLUB ACCIDENTALLY SPENT TOO MUCH ON THE TRANSPORTATION BUT EVERYONE STAYED HOME NOW WE'RE OUT 6000 YEN. HELP BALANCE OUR BOOKS]
[KAIRI THE CULINARY CLUB BROKE AN OVEN'
[KAIRI THERE'S GOING TO BE AN EMERGENCY MEETING TOMORROW DURING YOUR FREE BREAK AT SUNA] and Dozens more like it as if every one of the clubs under my run had suddenly fucked up in every possible way they could. I groaned laying back on my bed willing myself to a sleep that never came. I couldn't even fanthom to think how busy I was going to be until the day actually came.
Three days straight I couldn't even do my homework with how busy I was. Attend class, I skipped meals. Every single one of the meetings ran longer than intended. The damage to alot of equipment had to be accounted for to the school board and books needed to be balanced before the next budget meeting.
I saw Harumi maybe once in that span and Jirou well, not even that much. He was too busy trying to catch up in his school work and club activities. We were both too exhausted to text each other and I was too busy to even grab a snack. My Dad had to force me out of my room to eat some miso and bean soup since apparently living on pretzels and pocky during that time was unacceptable paired with corpus amounts of caffeine.
"You're over loading yourself. Slow down" He warned.
"Dad. I'm the student console-" He shoved a spoon full of beans and soup into my mouth. I pushed a pout at him. "President. If something goes wrong. That reflects badly at me and it just so happens I'm experiencing the week of hell "
"I imagine if you drop dead that wouldn't be a pretty picture either" He huffed sitting across from me. When the roast ham was finished he put a bowl of shredded meats and vegetables down in front of me. "Now you're not leaving here until you finish that and call your mother. I had to assure her that no. You haven't dropped off the planet. You haven't returned any of her calls"
"Honestly I'm going to need a new cellphone. I keep the current one buried under my dirty clothes hamper. Too many god damn texts"
"Hey, no cursing in this fucking house. I'm the only one who could do that" He said. I laughed a bit. "Well your sister and Mom aren't convinced I'm keeping you alive so please give them a call"
"After I'm done" I said eating a spoonful of meats and vegetables. The crunchy vegetables soothed the hunger I didn't know I had. Sweet and Sour pork wasn't my Dad's specialty.It surprised me a little how good it was. Usually Dad just survived on Sea food and water. "Look I've only seen Harumi once. Needless to say. Alot of people are feeling neglected by me right about now"
"School wasn't this stressful when I was in it"
"When was that 50 years ago?"
"Watch it smart mouth" He laid back on his sweet finishing his glass of water. "Not that old you know. All I'm saying is. In the hinesight of things alot of stuff in highschool won't matter in 23 years. Grades yeah but everything else is just that and even grades, fuck that last point. Your mother sucked at Biology and look at her now. A Doctor. I sucked at everything and I run my own private detective company"
"I'm sensing a point somewhere there" I said tiredly finishing my plate and on cue he refilled it with more.
"The point is. The name you make for yourself in highschool isn't going to define your future unless you let it" I frowned at him a bit but nodded and kept on with the food. "You look exhausted. You haven't been sleeping right and frankly you haven't been acting like yourself either. There is such a thing as working too much"
"Big sis doesn't think so"
"Well your sister is a bit half cracked sometimes"
"Genetically doomed we are then" I joked.
"Slow down" He said once more. "Who knows maybe people are just trying to sabotage yah. I've seen it in movies. Make the popular girl lose her mind from over work and take her place" I stopped midchew. Who would benefit from me being too busy? I started recalling just who exactly were the members in all of these clubs I run. The sources of the issues. My grip tightened around my fork.
That clever fuck.
""If this keeps going I'll send you to your mother's for a week. Think of it as forced vacation" A chill ran through my spine.
"Don't worry Dad. I know exactly how I'm gonna fix this"
The next day in school I met up on a body shuffling through the books in her locker. I closed the door for her and she flnched looking at me. My glared wasn't as effective as I'd hope. I was still too exhausted to look menacing. Washed out hazel eyes and a mountain of firey red hair in a large pony tail. She looked at me a bit concerned. "Hey K-kairi is there something I can do for you?"
"You're the freshmen who run the books for environmental club right?" She nodded. "So wasn't it your responsibility to cancel the payment to the driver if the trip was cancelled?"
"I've been super busy. I didn't really have time to replan everything"
"A check gives you 24 hours notice from the financial systems in the school. When a trip is updated to be canceled. A notice that would have been told to you by the technical department. She started playing with her hands nervously. "And a little birdie told me he asked whether or not to cancel the check of if the environmental club was planning on postponing." She stepped back a bit when I stepped forward. "I believe the words were 'yes we're postponing it for two weeks while everyone gets better"
"And that's the truth. I didn't bother"
"Yet. You didn't put that down on record of a new date when you submitted the file to me. Why?"
"We haven't yet come up with an official date"
"Don't toy with me." I said. "Submitting a false report does nothing more than waste my damn time and the principal wasn't pleased that you purposely let 600 go on a botched school trip. None of the members were sick. They boycotted and I know this because I" I pulled my phone out with a video of a party that happened just yesterday night. I had a good friend mass invite the environmental club. "Had someone invite them to party. They don't look very sick do they?"
"Save it" I handed her a pink slip. "Planning false trips to wrongly distribute already limited funds from the school is warrant for two weeks detention. Now your trip really is cancelled and you and your little buddies are banned from making anymore fiancial requests for the rest of the school term." She stared at the slip. "I don't know what Taro promised you....was it a night...two nights or maybe a wild ride in the school closet and frankly I don't care what you guys do. Get dick. Hell I advocate for everyone to be as sexual as they fucking please." Sex was sex. So long as it was willingly who really gave a fuck who was fucking who? Why do people spend so much time on the sex lives of people they're not even screwing? "Now you don't look like the type to have alot of self esteem to spare and frankly you're not worth my time but don't think I wouldn't spend every fucking waking moment making sure you stay at the bottom of the food chain all of your miserable years in highschool. if you decide to fuck with my work again. I take what I do here very seriously. It's my pride. My work. My legacy and I'm not going to let any of that fucktard's fangirls or your desperate freshmen ass get in the way of what I do. You're new. I get that you don't know what I'm capable of and you don't want to know. You stink of virgin issues up the ass and let me tell you there's dozens out there more capable and more respectful than that asshole out here. If he's who you want then fine. Go for it. I know a thing or two about goals and if one of them is someone you wanna fuck then why not? But don't involve me in your virgin sob party do you understand?"
"Y-y-yes.." She shivered tears brimming at her eyes.
"Now I have dozens more pink slips to go share out to the masses then I'm going to sleep. If I get one text from the environmental club that even smells. Like it had something to do with a sabotage. I'll get all your asses suspended before you could blink. Sob to Taro about this later by the way. I want him to feel bad for getting all your dumb asses in trouble." I smiled at her walking by reaching at the end of the hallway when another thing came to mind "Oh and here's a tip for the wild forest you call hair. Coconut oil, carrot oil and peppermint oil. Heat gently then leave in for 2 hours and wash out. Do it daily and you'll find it gets easier to tame that way. You don't need validation from anyone else but yourself by the way. Remember that"
Handing out pink slips had become more exhausting then it should have been. I tried jolting my system to life when I head crying in the stalls. My heart pinched a bit. If Kasume was in school that day. I could tell her I was drunk that day that I took everything back. She didn't have to leave and I wasn't going to tell anyone either. So I hit on the stall. 'Hey. Um. Are you okay in there?"
'Go away" A voice said. Mousy and low. My heart sunk. Definitely not Kasume. I let out a sigh leaning on the wall. The voice sounded young and from the fact they choose the middle stall it was definitely a freshmen. No one uses the middle stall since everyone knows about the hole the dudes drilled to peep in from the closet near by.
'Not going to work. See class is soon and you're going to have to leave sooner or later or you're getting detention so." I started maybe that wasn't the best approach. "Just tell me what's wrong and I'll see if I can help" The voice was silent for a while and with the way time was going. I didn't want to black out and have something as horrible as a murder happen or something. "Look we could stay here all day if you want. You're gonna have to come out sooner or later" The door clicked and swung open and short lanky girl came out. Straw like bronze hair and puffy freckled cheeks. She looked like a cabbage patch kid doll which wasn't bad. I had a collection of them. Her eyes widened at me.
"I know so..who are you?"
"Tsunei" She said hesitantly.
"Okay Tsunei." I asked. "Why were you crying in the stalls.." She looked off to the side and I tilted my head at her.
"None of my classmates like me..I'm trying so so hard to be their friend" She wiped at her eyes. Honestly seeing her like this just punched me all the way back to Middle school when i was sobbing in the stalls. Friendless because Harumi hadn't transfered there yet and for some stupid reason I kept forgetting my lunch money. I sighed rubbing the back of my head.
"Well I assure you making friends with people who don't like you is definitely not the definition of a friend' She sniffled shooting me a sour look.
"I just want them to like me" She whimpered. "B-but I guess I can't listen to you on this. Aika-senpai said not to trust you.." I rolled my eyes. Of course she didn't. Honestly people can make themselves feel so high and mighty when it comes to picking enemies. I find it amusing how this girl was programmed to dislike me without even getting to know me. Strange world.
"People won't like you. All that matters is that you like you. If you rely on other people you're going to be miserable as fuck. Why do you think I don't give a damn what I say to people? I call it like it is. I can help people. I give advice. I was a Guidance consoler as a freshmen. I'm not a heartless bitch. I just don't like them. We all have people we don't like. They don't like me either but do I care? no. You can't hang around hoping everyone'll like you. If your opinion of yourself hangs on the balance of someone else then you're not living life according to your own terms. You're living life to please someone else and that's no way to live life" She stared at me and I ruffled her dark hair with a half smile. "You can dislike me if you want kid but for your own reasons don't let someone else tell you how to think. True friends don't make you feel like shit okay? Once you realize that you'll see that it's gets easier to pick out who can be your friend or not"
She gave a nod and the bell rung on cue. She managed a half smile and a thank you before leaving. My head was ringing from the echo of the bell. Honestly this day was becoming one I quickly wanted to be over and done with.